Imperfection In Perfection

I’ve been thinking…
I went to the Sunday service at the church whom I play lead guitar for, in their college group.
The pastor’s sermon hit me.
I love it when that happens.
Sometimes, I hate it.

Here are some of his points:

Whether you miss the bus by 2 minutes or 2 hours, you still missed this bus.

We often grade on a curve; “compared to him, I’m a pretty great person”

Everything changed in Genesis 3; from beautiful perfection, to horrific disaster.

We’re worse than flip-flops at a formal affair.

We stand condemned; We’re all on death row.

To appreciate the goodness
of the Good News,
you need to understand
the badness of
the bad news.

If we down-play sin,
we down-play God.

 His points hit me.
I often do this-

think to myself, I’m doing good, I serve in a band, I serve my church, I talk to God like He’s human-formed still, I strive to pursue Him, I tell others about Him, I tithe, I have a compassion child….the list goes on…
Some of these, anybody can do.
Some of them, Christ followers act on.
But all of them, can come from my messed up life.

I am messed up,
I am a worm;
 a wretch;

There’s so much wrong with my life,
yet He loves me,
and He holds me as I get back on track.

It sucks.
I love being held by Him, but I let Him down

I hate being human.
I want more out of life,
I want to GIVE more life.
How can I assist mi dulce Salvador
in His work?
It’s more than giving out tracts
and wearing Jesus t-shirts.

I want to have that “Crazy Love” that He has for me.
I know I can never, EVER, duplicate it,
but I want to pursue perfection.

 I’ve been distracted.

In the pursuit of loving God,
I got distracted with

  • Impatience
  • Desire
  • Job
  • Stress
  • Worry
  • Tears


It really doesn’t make sense to me,
I’ve tried, but I fail.
I know I do.
But, just like in my job,
if I make a mistake,
I try not to dwell on it,
I try to learn from it and catch it’s entrance next time.

I had time before work this morning, to pray, and talk with mi dulce Salvador.
I pressed the pause button on my unimportant day to bask in His perfection.
My lunch break, I re-read the fifth chapter of “Crazy Love”.

.It rocked.

God’s definition of what matters is pretty straightforward.
He measures our lives by how we love…
‘if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love. I gain nothing.’

So, here I am.
In awe.
I need to act with a crazy love; absurd love; insane love
in the context of how unusual it is, because it’s so fierce.

I will spend my lifetime getting to know this love,
how it works,
and how to daily live it.
I’m willing though.
I’m ready.



He’s Crazy

Fall is coming!
Do you know what that means!?!?
Apple pies, soups, crock pot meals, home-made bread, cinnamon, crisp grounds, and SCARVES!

I think that this fall, here in Michigan, I will enjoy unlike any other. I will appreciate this fall more because it’s been a while. I was in Panama a year ago, missed the color changes and the frost. Speaking of frost, I can attempt to make grape jam after we have some good frosts, soon–I’ll make sure to capture that adventure just like my last!

I had an interview Tuesday, the company is not a chain and it’s owned by brothers. I could not have asked for a better interview; it was fabulous. I just received my second call for my second interview! (going over specifics for the job) All-in-all, God’s got a plan.

I’m realizing, after reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan with my worship team that, basking in God’s greatness is one of the best ways to focus deeper on Him.
It is hard to capture at first though.
Just viewing His creation, making myself small,  allows Him to fill my sight; consuming me in a blanket of perfection.
He is perfect.
We are God’s idea.
He created us.
If my loving, just, compassionate, personal God created all that my eyes can see, then why worry or stress, when that’s losing sight of who He is?
The one who holds my life, my future, my purpose, in His hands. I will struggle, yes.
I will fall, yes.
I will say stupid things.
I will screw-up.
I may even cause someone else to falter…
And I shudder, because I’ve done these already…
But I smile, because He’s not left me.
He will never leave me nor forsake me.
God will use whatever circumstances I get myself into, for His glory, because I love Him; because He first loved me.
So, throw away your tomorrows, because today has enough worries for itself.
But, don’t worry, cause He’s got your heart,
He’s got your hand, He’s super-glued to you.
Face it. He’s crazy about you. 

Thoughts on Life

We always hear about abortion and the different views on it.
Sometimes though, I don’t believe that people truly realize how devastating it is.
Recently, it has hit me how much I care for children who are less fortunate than me.
Orphans are the main reason I want to go to Panama. I feel like God is leading me towards working with orphans-I don’t know in what way; but I know He wants me to.
When I find out the horrific news that abortion is uprising and stuff, it never hits me as hard as KNOWING somebody who has done it…my stomach churns and my heart stops for a second as I swallow hard and tear up.
.I begin to pray.

I truly think that every once in a while we need a reality check. HONESTLY-I never would have felt that way if I had been a ‘sheltered home-schooler’. So, BE OUT THERE! Stop trying to ‘protect’ yourself from the world. How else are we; Christians, supposed to help those around us?
Life is out there…and sometimes it’s too late to see it.
I am glad that I have friends and acquaintances who aren’t Christians, that’s what our purpose is, being in the world not of it. But. I hate to see them fail and fall and not truly realize that whatever happiness that they are seeking is RIGHT THERE.
It frustrates me because I don’t want to say something to them that will repel them from Christ and from me; I want to give them life.
And when I see them taking it away…that’s one of the worst feelings ever…

This is my recent reality check and it’s definitely got me thinking and praying harder than I was before…

The Difference of Opinion

OK, I’m at work this morning and my co-worker says something to me about a song, sung by The Fray. She says, “I am not sure what they lyrics mean.” So, we decided to look up the lyrics and listen to the song at the same time. After giving each other our own, marvelous understandings of the song, we looked at the comments that random people around the world left, telling others their opinion on the song. I read them and some of them just blew me away…well, I will start by giving you the song:

You Found Me by The Fray

There was a ton of controversy on this song, I am amazed. Some of my favorite comments were these:

“I can relate to this. I think we as people always ask, ‘where were You?’ to God, when certain negative things happen in life. But, when the good things happen, do we as people say ‘thank you’ to God for being there? Sadly, we don’t always. I will certainly be more aware of that.”

“…God is always there for us, and when we perceive God finally helping us, we expected it sooner, when in reality He was always with us…God doesn’t separate from us, we separate from Him.”

“I think this guy is asking God where God has been, not realizing that He was always there waiting for him. He’s realizing that after everyone fails him, he then looks for God and finds that He is there waiting.”

These people, I feel, got this song pretty spot on. We always go through trials not remembering what Jesus’ brother, James told us:

“Consider it pure joy my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

Sheesh, James gave us the answer right there…that’s what we are to do, find the joy in every situation, especially in trials. But, how often is it that we really do look to God, first thing? When we’re going through a tough spot, is it not natural tendency to go to our closest friend or relative?

My favorite comment and one that needs some applause was from this one guy who read the blog of Isaac Slade, the lead singer of The Fray. He said:

“Isaac Slade wrote, ‘You Found Me is a tough song for me. It is about the disappointment, the heart ache, the let down that comes with life. Sometimes you’re let down, sometimes you’re the one who lets someone else down. It gets hard to know who you can trust, who you can count on. This song came out of a tough time, and i”m still right in the thick of it. There is some difficult circumstances my family and friends have  been going through over the past year or so and it’s been overwhelming. It wears on me. It demands so much of my faith to keep believing, keep hoping in the unseen. Sometimes the tunnel has a light at the end, but usually they just look black as night. This song is about that feeling, and the hope that I still have, buried deep in my chest.”

Thank God for that guy going to the origin of the song!

So, its just mind boggling to me, the many differences of opinion that can be aroused by one song. People look at the same lyrics, to the same music, by the same people, and view it SO differently. It’s how people grow up, different things that affect their lives, how they were taught, new perspectives they’ve developed, and a whole bunch of things like that, those are why we have so many controversial topics in life.

Because We Are All Different.

I just felt like writing about this because well, its just so interesting to me how people think.