Patience, kindness, and a whole lotta faithfulness.

Day three, Saturday, came with another early start as I made breakfast for us all and we all sat down by 7a.m. to partake. Today was the day Mi Amor and I set off for a day of surfing. So at breakfast we all planned our day. 

Mom and dad drove into Haleiwa {ha-lay-ee-vah} and explored the marketplace and a soap factory {which we all are going back to on Monday}. 

My brother and his wife stayed at the townhouse and relaxed by reading and letting sunburns have a break. 

Mi Amor and I set out for the surf shack here on the resort at Turtle Bay. On our way we were talking about the surprise we would do for mom and dad; a really nice dinner alone would be a great treat since they definitely didn’t have to bring us here with them.

We got our surfboards and hit up the west side of the peak. There were about five times where I just body boarded cause I couldn’t stand up. It was fun, but it’s been five years since I surfed in Panama. I stood up then, certainly I’m stronger now! 

After two hours of trying to catch a wave, we went in to catch an early lunch at the townhouse and report back to my bro and sis what we had found for mom and dad. On our way back my sister in law called and said mom and dad got back from town, so it was a perfect time to come back. 

We ate taco salad with kale and the homemade salsa they bought at the market. 

We then drove the van to get the surfboards to take them to another beach that was recommended. While Mi Amor was loading the boards, my sis and I made the surprise arrangements at the restaurant. It was going to be perfect. 

Off to the beach we went. All piled in our van with two surfboards straight through the middle. At this beach there was a section where all the surfers were and it’s hard to not get in the way. We tried going to another part but it just wasn’t good. After two more hours we still hadn’t stood up. It was a beautiful beach though. There was a dad with his five year old daughter who went out with her on piggy back and was teaching her to stand up. It was amazing. Mom said “that’s you and dad if you grew up here!” Just think about how awesome it would be, I liked that idea. 

After about a half hour of us sitting on the shore after our paddling on the water and wave jumping, and seeing a turtle, we all headed back to Turtle Bay. We had two more hours to use our boards before we had to give them back. We set off once again in the hopes we could stand up. After an hour and a half I was exhausted, my entire body hurt. I could tell I got way too much sun and worked my arms more than my shoulder socket could handle. 

I headed in to return my board and go see if mom and sis were done snorkeling. They actually came over right as I was coming out. {good, we are on schedule to take them to their restaurant} I got some pictures of Mi Amor on his board from shore and told him I was leaving for the townhouse. 

We told mom she could take a shower first, since dad already had–things were lining up. I then proceeded after mom got changed to say “be ready to leave at 5:20” and so at that time I took them out to the van and they were like, “what about the others?” “Are you grilling for us ?” I responded, “don’t worry about us and maybe we are maybe we arent”. “Is there a surprise in the van or are you taking us somewhere?” I shrugged my shoulders.

Off we went and I proceeded to tell them, “you two mean a lot to us and you have shown us that life stays adventurous even after 35 years of marriage. A big part of this is you two spending time together, alone” 

My parents invest in each other, know how each gives and receives love, as well as being kind and merciful. 

They followed me to the front where the hostess was and I said “reservation for two for _____name here_____”

She looks up and says, “ah yes, Happy Anniversary” 

My mom got all giddy as I said, “enjoy” and walked away. 

It was a huge Blessing to be a blessing to them who have blessed us beyond what we deserve.

Leap Frog Sickness

Saturday, my wonderful husband took family and friends out for a five mile loop, viewing the last weekend of ArtPrize. I, of course had already planned to have a delicious brunch waiting for their arrival in the morning, but throughout Friday night, I was sick…

SO, I stayed in bed to sleep the afternoon away and stay horizontal. Every time I got up, my stomach was just qweezy and I felt nauseous, so it was nice to have the pressure off me as my husband took the reigns on the day.

This is true love when you’re sick:
My husband got up and biked his beautiful self to the store to buy me Vernors…and oh dear heavens how that changed my day. 
That act alone was so meaningful to me. 

That night I was able to hang out and socialize without being a TOTAL drag.

 
Sunday morning I felt healed except for easing my tummy back into food. 
The entire day was incredible, it was one day that was seriously just Mi Amor and I. 

Anyways, the next day {today} he came home from work early, feeling ill….ohhh dear…

I am sitting here in bed with him, wondering how it is possible for me to love him as much as I should…

Time is really important as his love language, so I think me just being here is a great act of love for him…but I wish there was something I could whip up to make him feel good, or at least lighten him. 

I think that’s a really neat thing about marriage; I am compelled to witness his life and notice his needs. I am compelled to run to him for safety and encouragement. I am challenged daily to choose him and not me. 
A beautiful struggle.

 
 

I, Sarah, take you, Cameron, to be my husband, my constant friend, and my love from this day forward.

 

 

I promise to walk with you in the good times and the bad, through the sunshine and the storm.

 

 

I choose to give of myself despite what I receive in return, to put your needs above my own.

 

 

 

I devote myself to faithfully stand by your side.

 

 

 

I commit to loving you to the end of my days, for as long as I live.

 

Unexpected Twists of a Young Marriage

Working in a hospital, I see torn lives every day.
What follows after exiting a patient’s room is generally a scene I make up in my head which places either Mi Amor or I in that position of danger. My visions are deep and brutal, filled with full on gore and shock. I don’t know how I have this mind that so simply takes me into the world of my thoughts…however horrible they are…

What if one day, this nightmare became my reality?

This is a recap of that reality beginning yesterday morning.

Ensuring Mi Amor was set with lunch as well as breakfast, I threw together the same for myself. As he shoves a bite of my homemade muesli and yogurt in his mouth, I kiss him on the cheek, tell him I love him and that I can’t wait to be home with him that evening. I am so blessed to have an incredible husband who I haven’t fought with and who I haven’t gone to bed or work mad at. I am so thankful that we started that morning well off. I jumped on my bike, peddling away on down to the pharmacy, where I tied my sweater around my waist to cover the water mark thrown by the bike tire that lined my back. The rain was coming down when I was biking, but thankfully it had stopped shortly thereafter.
Upon hearing huddle, I took my tech that I was training that day up to the main hospital with a med cart. We were exchanging the boxes from the day before, with fresh meds for those patients that day. I remember being in the middle of telling him about patient safety and how health care is something to CARE about, when my coworker from downstairs comes rapidly walking towards us. I look at her as she tells me with hurt in her eyes, “Sarah, I just got two calls saying your husband is down in ER.” I honestly, stared at her and thought to myself, This can’t be possible….
Then as I realized that she was truly standing in front of me telling me this, I put my hand over my mouth and said, “Oh, God…”
I focused on one thing: Getting to my husband.
I ran to the elevator and a man who I enjoy seeing up in surgery when I refill the pyxis was there. At this moment, I was forced to stop moving and as the doors closed and he turned to me, he asked, “Sarah, good morning, how are ya?” I looked at him and was drowned with reality. He held me and told me, “I’ll be praying for you,” as the doors opened and I ran off.
I began praying, also just thinking, and completely lost in a world of shock all at the same time.

I got through to ER in my back way and asked some familiar faces where my husband was, “Cameron, his name is Cameron.”
One of the kind men was Cory, who ended up being the Physician’s Assistant. “He’s in room 36.” I walked the ten feet to the room where I saw his clothes and no bed…I instantly thought the worst, how could I not? He must be in a trauma room… I walked back to Cory and I demanded in panic, “Where is my husband?”
“Oh, honey, you don’t know what happened?”
I began crying uncontrollably and placed my head on the counter.
“Sarah, he’s okay, my name’s Cory, I’m his PA, he’s just getting a catscan.”
I look up at him and nod my head in acknowledgement.
“There is the officer, he might need some info,” Cory directed.
I walked over, crying and trying to pull myself together before I saw Cameron, “I’m his wife,”
The officer nodded and asked if I knew what happened. I, of course, did not. I told him some personal info and then went to touch Cameron’s clothes. Obviously, there wasn’t a lot of blood and as I touched his sweater, I looked over and laughed gently between crying, “His fifty pound backpack probably helped save his life…” This is when I recalled that morning, I did kiss him right? I did say I love him right? How could I have known how to prepare for this…oh God, please help us. 

I knew where catscan was and so I thought, I can wait outside the doors.
I began to walk out of room 36 and as I looked down the corridor, I saw him….sitting up and staring down the hall at me. I ran/walked down to him as he asked if I could come into catscan too. I followed and as soon as he was turned around and made eye contact with me, I said, “I love you” as he responded I placed my hand over my mouth to try to calm myself from my tears…which of course came like a river.
I saw no broken bones or fractures at all. I praised our Protector.

As she wheeled him back to room 36, I held his arm and cried. He placed his unscathed hand on my head and stroked my hair, “I’m okay”
I nodded while replaying his message in my head, over and over…He’s okay, he’s okay, he’s okay…

I called his dad, his mom, my dad, his three professors, and through all six calls I cried uncontrollably at the reality of life.
A driver was coming from the north, had a stop sign, and apparently checked for headlights before he got to the intersection, didn’t see any and went to do a sort of ‘rolling stop’ while not really seeking out more than headlights. From Cameron’s perspective he was cruzing down the street in his bike lane, when all of a sudden he ran into the side of a van, it was as if it just appeared. Bashing his face into the side he toppled over off of his bike and onto the street. He got up and told the guy, “i’m fine, i’m okay”
Cameron, obviously not seeing his own face, was in shock.
The driver told him they were going down to ER.
Cameron walked with his uncouthly heavy backpack after stashing his bike in some bushes, the football field to the ER. {He was only four blocks from our home}
He was admitted and told them, “My wife works in the inpatient pharmacy, tell her I’m okay.”

I sat there looking at him through my overly puffy eyes…
After seven stitches in his upper lip, about twenty in his chin, between two gashes, and another large number on his knee, he was looking at me telling me, “I’m sorry for scaring you,”
“What? Cameron, its not your fault…we are so blessed you are alive.”
Saying that word…alive…it made me lose it all over again…
It took me until the next morning to actually be able to control my emotions. All throughout that day, I was hit over and over again with the thought of being alone, that he really should be dead…two more seconds and he could’ve been dead..or paralized, or in critical care from a broken back, hips, and concussion…
Instead, our Protector had His hand upon Cameron, I know that for sure.
I woke up periodically throughout the night to check his breathing and see if he was still alright, the danger wasn’t over if he had a concussion that put him out over night…
But, I was able to make it to work after giving him instructions to text me every hour and let me know what he is doing, how he is feeling-if vision changes, etc…
He took a little walk down to meet me for lunch, which I was thankful for the boost of life to help keep me awake through the day. I arrived home to some fall-colored leaves…a tradition that he has done every year through our relationship. He still touches my heart and romances me so delicately even when he has every right to be selfish.

Throughout the day of the accident, after taking paid-time-off, I stuck by him so close, never letting him out of my sight for too long. So many thoughts were shared. I treasure my time with him, and I still had a great time being with him even as he has been in this state.
I am so proud of my husband, he is the best patient ever. No complaints, no ‘woe is me’, no cursing God, nothing. He is walking, breathing, eating, reading. He is alive. He has been handling this like a champ, and there is no way that I have could see such a heart that I need to cherish, except in these tragedies. He is mine. He is my one-of-a-kind husband who is perfect for me and who I am blessed to have the honor of being his wife.

I’m supposed to grow old with you…
I have prayed that our home be one of healing. I want our home to be a haven of peace and rest and for those who are broken and hurting. Find comfort here in the testimonies of our healing through the power of our Doctor.

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Ephesians 7:13 & 14
Consider what God has done, Who can straighten what he has made crooked?
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.
 Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

Improving For Life

The challenge of men and women is that they are so crazy different. The beauty of this is that life doesn’t have to be boring with a mystery to always figure out. An investigation begins after figuring out the love language of your spouse-how they receive love the best and through what means. Mi Amor is acts of service and time. Since these are important to me, although not my primaries, I feel like it could be easier for me than for you and your spouse.
God has blessed me with an extremely understanding husband who is open to reading books and hearing my opinion…however crazy they may be.
What if I was him:

In what way do I feel most loved by her? Do you think she loves me? Am I fulfilled by having her as my wife? Does coming home feel like an oasis?

These are all questions that I ponder in my mind to see if my actions are properly executed as a wife. If he is able to say, “No, I hate coming home, I know its gonna be a drag” then I’m doing something wrong. Thank God that my marriage has been incredible, because I haven’t had to deal with a lot of things that I’ve been told usually happen in the beginning of marriage. Frankly, my husband has changed my life.

Since getting married, I feel like I have improved as a person; I am much better with Mi Amor than I am without him.

{I actually floss my teeth}{My cooking skills have improved as I choose to make a dish every day, because I have another mouth to feed}{My skin doesn’t bother me as much, but Mi Amor has helped push me to fight, using herbs. So, my homeopathic ways are upping their game}{My selfishness has begun to diminish, I will always have spurts, but its not prominent}{My prayer life has GREATLY improved}{God is just so close, and so visible to me> Marriage has made me free with Him. I can focus on Him with the help of Mi Amor; my best friend. Nothing is even comparable to the feeling of knowing that he will encourage me and push me to draw closer to God. I feel freer than ever before in my life. I am free to be myself and to pursue without limitations.}

Mi Amor has been the biggest blessing in my life; the best friend; the chess rival; the artsy encourager; the tattoo buddy; the believer in me; my prayer warrior; my adventure forever.

25 days and counting

It seems as though all my latest posts have been about the concept of time…maybe its just because I’m overwhelmed with how time is flying and yet its steady, but it actually is slow, there’s just a lot happening…
yeah…

25 days until I marry him.

My parents are a huge blessing as they jump at every opportunity to serve and help, despite all the chaos in their own lives…which is a lot.

After all the events that have happened in my life, I can’t even begin to comprehend how to give appropriate detail without making this post a short story…
Beach hopping, new recipes, fireworks, campfires, food, friends, games, my girl nights, Indiana, band concerts, driving roads, working out, mattress shopping, meeting our new landlord for our first place, swimming, flowers, bike rides, and so much heart-to-heart time.

Even in those times where I’m worried, concerned and a little uneasy, I know that love never fails. I have heard so many couples say that the disagreements and misunderstandings are better with the one whom your soul loves than you think they are.
Disagreements are healthy.
Communicate.
Be the mature one and say you’re sorry.
Don’t assume anything.
They just speak a different language sometimes.
Draw each other close, even when your mind says to push away.
Don’t have people over at your house the month that you get married.
Liking and loving are two different forms of appreciation, use both of them.

The list goes on and on of the marvelous advice Mi Amor and I have received over the last 105 days of our engagement.

At this point in my life, I am trying to embrace the last moments I have living here in Poppins with a great group of young women. There are only a handful of nights left of singleness.

I’m so ready to entrust my life to Mi Amor, knowing that he will take care of me and that I will faithfully support him in his passions.

I’m growing up a little bit more…

It Was Always Said She’d Be There

For as long as I can remember, she and I have known each other.
From using stick on earrings, clip-ons, then up to her piercing her own ears; we always went through transitions with each other. 

I learned her habits, her laugh, her workmanship with food, and many other traits. We taught each other as we grew up. She and I have always had a bond of some sort, a piece of life that glued us together as sisters. 

We’ve had our share of distances and have realized our differences.
She is meat and potatoes, I am fruit and veggies
We both love cheese
She is swedish fish and kool-aid, I am chocolate pretzels and orange juice
We both love salt&vinegar chips
She is heels and hoops, I am barefeet and scarves
We both love tennis shoes
She is hair and nails, I am herbs and medicines

I could go on and on about how opposite we are. There are things that we’ve complimented each other with and things that we share in. We both love being outside in the sun, especially at the beach. I have so many memories laughing and being CRAZY with the camera. We love going on walks and biking. She is always up for a getaway and a little adventure down the road. We love late-night drives with the windows down and having picnics under the stars.

I have loved her like my own sister for as long as I remember. Our downfalls have been rough and hard, but our past sisterhood has helped our future friendship.

These are just some of the stories I have in our novel of friendship; only some of the reasons I chose her as my bridesmaid.