I Had To Try. I Wanted To Win.

“You know me better than you think, you know, and you shall know me better yet.” —C.S. Lewis {Magician’s Nephew}


I was at work while listening to the book on tape that Mi Amor put onto my iPod. C.S. Lewis has always been in my readings, but lately I’m just so amazed by him; his works are of course, a reflection of his mind…how marvelous a mind it was…

This quote was stated by Aslan, the character that is a reflection of God. As the story was playing and I got to this part, I had to rewind it…then once more…then again…

I have long known of our Creator, His Son, and the Spirit that now dwells in me and these moments of quiet reflection deepen our relationship. Every good marriage sets aside time for one-on-one…it is the same with our Saviour.
I paused my story… “How is this statement true for me?” I thought.
“In my frustration and misery with my health condition//skin//digestive disorder//etc.. I have shouted at God {{WHERE ARE YOU}} and even though I KNOW HIM BETTER, I still, in the present moment are distraught at His parenting skills. And now, I KNOW HIM BETTER than last year. “

I’m training… just like when I used to run miles and miles every day, every week, month, season, year, to get myself in shape for racing. My earthly father pushed me, encouraged me, and supported me throughout the whole thing. When I hurt or wanted to throw up or began crying or was sick, he pushed me to keep going. This endurance built up in me… I began running hardest up hill. If there was a wind against me, I used it as motivation to try pushing harder.
Whether sleet, snow, rain, cold, or pure desert conditions, we ran.

I’ll never forget this one race where I was running side by side a girl for first place, we were both running harder than ever and keeping up the pace. As I hit the last hill of the course my dad was there… “Go, Sarah, push hard, you’re doing great!!!” I heard his voice out of all the others shouting… His words ran {{no pun intended}} through my head as my heart beat loud and my breath was clouding my brain. My legs were about to fall off and I was overheating, I was about to start crying ‘daddy, I can’t’ when I thought of my hard two mile run the previous week; I had impressed dad by ‘kicking it in’ a quarter mile from the end. I had kept up my faster gear the whole way till our finish. This came to my head and I repeated his words to myself, “Go, Sarah, push hard, you’re doing great…push hard, you’re doing great…push hard.”
So, half a mile from the finish I pushed harder than he cheered and ‘kicked it in’ right then. I passed my rival and blazed the trail. I crossed the finish line with my best time of the season. I fell to the ground crying just after that finish line… Dad came to me, handed me my medal and picked me up to my feet, “You gotta stand up, gotta keep walking” I just cried as I felt like one giant heat wave wiggling on the horizon.

After the race, about half an hour, when I was almost about to do my cool down run, dad came over to me, “How did you do that? What made you go?” {{I don’t remember his question exactly..}}  I just remember saying, “I had to try. I wanted to win.”

We know Him well now, but when we ‘kick it in’ we look back and we realize that we know Him better yet because of what we overcame with His help.


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