Vulnerability for Your Healing

Just because I believe in God doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with this…I’m going to make my self vulnerable and share with you lots about my journey from now on. I hope someone else can find healing along with me. Against my need to feel beautiful, I’m putting myself out there at the end of this post and sharing pictures of my journey…I didn’t take many consecutively because who wants pictures when they’re at their worst?

“Choose to see your experience through God, rather than God through your experience.” {My dad}
This sentence pierced my heart. Think about it for a moment.

God never changes, so why do we let our circumstances change our opinion of Him? This is what it means to be held. God doesn’t only allow issues and says “you’re on your own, pal..”

He allows trials and says :

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. {Matt 11:28}

Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.{Psalm 37:4}

Consider it pure joy, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. {James 1:2&3}

In Isaiah 40 it says “Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God’? Do you not know? Have you not heard? the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.”

God wants the love of His creation…just like you who have children want the respect and adoration of them, you want them to love you and look up to you…those of you who have spouses, you want to please them and make them happy. You also desire their entire being, you want their faithfulness and commitment…well, God is a jealous God who wants pure hearts. He wants to know you’re serious about Him, captivated, in awe, head-over-heels for Him. Trials prove your love, like fire to gold; all the impurities burn away, and all that is left is beauty.

I’m in agreement with C.S. Lewis, when he said,

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

If it wasn’t for my faith, I wouldn’t have a hope of an end for this. My eczema isn’t going to be on my body forever–I was meant for the perfection of Heaven…

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. {Rev. 21:4}

I’m currently struggling, struggling for an answer…for some hint of healing…but all the while, it is well with my soul…
I got a foot detox yesterday–hoping for some healing answers…I was confirmed with digestive issues… the Lord has given me resources…and parents who still take care of me and their love abounds greater and greater as I understand it more and more.
Mi Amor and I were talking as we were driving, what we’ve learned from this, how our characters have been challenged, and where we’ve been strengthened.
I made a mental list of his answers so that I can be thankful for what this has done to stretch him into a better man. I now try to meditate and give thanks with a grateful heart when I get an attack…

Make me a servant, humble and meek, Lord let me lift up those who are weak, and may the prayer of my heart always be, make me a servant today. {old song from my childhood}

No matter your situation, we all need healing.
After the blessing of the foot detox and some guidance, and a bath robe..which I am wearing right now, I left with more assurance of God’s guidance. I left work early today because of an attack and now I’m sitting here doing a Bentonite clay mask on my hands and feet/ankles. I have plastic bags over my hands and water on the stove with some essential oils on it, instrumental music playing and the Christmas lights on. I am going to eat minimal food for the next who-knows-how-long, just so I can hope at some healing.
Carrots, freshly juiced with some “Go-Green” powder will be my breakfast. I will have a banana for a snack, carrots and homemade yogurt with flaxseeds in it will be my lunch(with some “Go-Green” in it) and rice with carrots will be my dinner.
I will live off of bananas, carrots, rice, and yogurt for a while.
I’m going to try to blog every-other-day to keep myself accountable. I realize that crap about lack of nutrition but ya know what, eczema is worse–believe me. I want answers, and elimination diets haven’t worked, so we’ll just go down completely and add in something after I start to heal.

Here is the ugly side to this story:

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

May 2013

May 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

 

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One thought on “Vulnerability for Your Healing

  1. Love your vulnerability! I pray that you find peace AND healing throughout this time, and that your journey blesses another!

    Have you looked into and researched the benefits of sunlight/tanning? I know too much can be bad, but we also know that SOME in moderation is good, and I remember reading when I had Eczema issues that the sunshine helped it feel/get better.

    Anyway, just another thought I had 🙂 Love you girlie!
    ~K

    Like

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