Treasures of Christmas Healing

Tuesday was my last day of work, {Christmas Eve} and we headed to the east side to spend time with Mi Amor’s family there.
You know, those treasured moments of spending time with family have a certain added magic in these crispy winter months. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent with my new family and while sipping tea, I observed a moment…one of those ‘pause’ moments… breathing in the scent of cinnamon spices from my tea, my mind went to the blessing of gaining four new brothers, two wonderful parents, and two sets of grandparents….{and of course other extended family!!!} Mi Amor has shared his family with me in such a touching way, I know its just how marriage works; you gain your spouse’s relatives, but I think that giving me equal rights to calling his family my own is a great honor. Food was eaten {while I stuck to my specific regime of yogurt, nuts, and cinnamon for breakfast…cauliflower and celery for lunch…tea throughout the day and munching on pecans, almonds, and peanuts for snacks…then some more spiced yogurt for dinner [its a wonder I’m able to stick to this]} Christmas evening we headed back to our home to pack and prepare for our trip! December 26th we headed to Mi Amor’s other grandparent’s house to celebrate with them. Sledding definitely happened and lots of chatting. At midnight we made it to bed and at 3:30a.m. we woke up to head to the airport.

Here we are, in Minnesota, playing lots of games and treating family like gold. My grandpa, he has had cancer for a very long time…but God has blessed him with lack of pain. Dinner last night was an opportunity for me to be translucent with him. If you know me at all, I hate crying, but after I went to Panama I became an emotional pile of mush. I know I’m not dealing with cancer, but I can relate to him; we’re both dealing with an attack on our bodies that we did not choose, nor can we heal from completely, it effects not only our bodies, but our emotions and the people around us.

I’ll admit, I’m scared to lose my only blood-related grandpa. I want healing for him…but I’m overwhelmingly thankful that he doesn’t deal with pain.

The Lord has given us wonderful parents who have given us plane tickets for a Christmas present. My husband has been exposed to the most emotional Christmas of my life thus far. Having this time with relatives going through struggles and dealing with the curses of this world has made me look at my hands…actually, its made me thankful for the ability to use them to serve over this Christmas. I’m getting back to my old crazy self…at least I’ve felt more myself. My mind has had times of freedom from these chains on my hands. I want to use them! I’m taking the opportunity while I can to bend them and hold things and do acts of service. I don’t know how long this little session of bliss is going to last but there’s three more days of 2013 and I’m hoping the new year will bring healing.

If this issue had to happen, I’m thankful that it has allowed me to relate to people who struggle with an ailment. I’ve been transformed into a pit of compassion while wanting to search deeper into other’s health problems…what is the cause>>WHY is your body reacting like this or what has changed?

I’m still sticking to the Anti-Candida Diet and eating yogurt with cinnamon twice a day. I spit into a cup of water this morning, first thing, and the water only got cloudy, so this is an improvement. My hands don’t look AS bad, but still no complete healing. I haven’t had this long of a ‘clean’ streak without large sums of itching/scratching or pain since September. This has enabled me to actually be part of this Christmas.

I believe that God is with us and He longs that we love Him and have faith to believe. I don’t want to be conquered by this, not now, not when I’ve started to become myself again…

Keep shining and sharing your healing story with others,
you don’t know who’s life you’re going to change. 

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That Which We Do Not Yet Have

Goals in life keep us going.
Reaching the next foothold in the mountain gives us purpose and a focus, without these two we are sulking in our misery and waiting for something to happen without trying for it.

I believe that if you are in need of healing, you need to make goals to pursue.
I’m going to make myself vulnerable again to give you an example:
*Goals in no specific order at this time*

  • To be able to use my hands without worry of if my task will cause the pain in my hands to be worse.
  • To be able to flaunt myself to my husband without shame of my appearance.
  • To not be scared of taking showers. {cause of becoming too dry}
  • To be okay with people wanting to see my wedding ring.
  • No more consecutive restless nights of itching and pain.
  • To be able to give my husband a shoulder rub.
  • To not be afraid of what I eat and if I’ll have a reaction to it.
  • To help heal others because I am a testimony of healing.
  • To work out again; running and strength exercises

What goals have you set for yourself?
How are you going to begin to work towards one?

Romans 8:22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all.Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

My Spit Tells Me So

Ever hope you’re a walking miracle? Ever want something to happen to you that’s so bizarre that it can only be answered by, “God did this!” 

Last night, I woke up at 2a.m. and I put some sulfur soap on my hands to wash them, after that it hurt to bend my hands still, but I felt better about starting with a good clean base. I applied my calendula salve and some jojoba oil, then snuck back under the covers but kept my hands hanging over the side, so that the sheets wouldn’t get slathered.

I began singing my songs to fall back asleep…I woke up this morning and took a room temp glass of filtered water and spit in it before I drank or ate anything. The weirdest thing happened–my spit didn’t float atop the water, it started moving down and created little tunnels or ‘legs’ and then after fifteen minutes a little cloudy patch settled at the bottom of the glass.
Click HERE to check out this test.

Candida overgrowth is weird…
But I’m convinced that’s what this is.
Click HERE to read about the link between candida and eczema

So for now, I’m layin’ low, chillin’ with Rizo all day since she got her wisdom teeth removed this morning! I’m glad my boss let me use PTO to get the day off..God is good.
I continue on my healing trek, being excited about myself (for the first time in a long while) and the fact that God has given me GREAT resources to help others.

Oh and my skin, it peeled off…the top layer of my skin flaked off in little pieces, which I used a brown sugar and coconut oil scrub to get off safely.
I think my hands are on there way to being vessels of service again…it hurts and itches still, doesn’t look different, but feels like new soft skin is breaking through…
.Hold Fast.

Songs of Healing

In recent desperation, I began using Bible verses and songs as my coping mechanism.
My aunt sent me a Thanksgiving card with the challenge to memorize Psalm 100…this was the first Bible verse I used instead of songs…interesting that it still is a Biblical song though…ha.
I encourage you to keep yourself calm by meditating on words and songs throughout your attacks or breakdowns.
We all need healing–so even if you’re not suffering from eczema, I know you’re heavy with something-whether for yourself, a friend, or a family member.
I always have the songs I have sung in church going through my head…some of these might be contrary to what you believe or know–but then, you are reading my blog for some reason…

Natalie Grant: Held
Laura Story: Blessings
Kutless: All Who Are Thirsty
The Old Hymns: It Is Well  & Be Thou My Vision

Day 2 of Bentonite Clay soak and Day 1 of carrot/apple juicing with Go Green for breakfast, raw carrots and yogurt/gogreen/diatomaceous earth for lunch and rice with cooked carrots for dinner. 

Vulnerability for Your Healing

Just because I believe in God doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with this…I’m going to make my self vulnerable and share with you lots about my journey from now on. I hope someone else can find healing along with me. Against my need to feel beautiful, I’m putting myself out there at the end of this post and sharing pictures of my journey…I didn’t take many consecutively because who wants pictures when they’re at their worst?

“Choose to see your experience through God, rather than God through your experience.” {My dad}
This sentence pierced my heart. Think about it for a moment.

God never changes, so why do we let our circumstances change our opinion of Him? This is what it means to be held. God doesn’t only allow issues and says “you’re on your own, pal..”

He allows trials and says :

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. {Matt 11:28}

Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.{Psalm 37:4}

Consider it pure joy, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. {James 1:2&3}

In Isaiah 40 it says “Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God’? Do you not know? Have you not heard? the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.”

God wants the love of His creation…just like you who have children want the respect and adoration of them, you want them to love you and look up to you…those of you who have spouses, you want to please them and make them happy. You also desire their entire being, you want their faithfulness and commitment…well, God is a jealous God who wants pure hearts. He wants to know you’re serious about Him, captivated, in awe, head-over-heels for Him. Trials prove your love, like fire to gold; all the impurities burn away, and all that is left is beauty.

I’m in agreement with C.S. Lewis, when he said,

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

If it wasn’t for my faith, I wouldn’t have a hope of an end for this. My eczema isn’t going to be on my body forever–I was meant for the perfection of Heaven…

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. {Rev. 21:4}

I’m currently struggling, struggling for an answer…for some hint of healing…but all the while, it is well with my soul…
I got a foot detox yesterday–hoping for some healing answers…I was confirmed with digestive issues… the Lord has given me resources…and parents who still take care of me and their love abounds greater and greater as I understand it more and more.
Mi Amor and I were talking as we were driving, what we’ve learned from this, how our characters have been challenged, and where we’ve been strengthened.
I made a mental list of his answers so that I can be thankful for what this has done to stretch him into a better man. I now try to meditate and give thanks with a grateful heart when I get an attack…

Make me a servant, humble and meek, Lord let me lift up those who are weak, and may the prayer of my heart always be, make me a servant today. {old song from my childhood}

No matter your situation, we all need healing.
After the blessing of the foot detox and some guidance, and a bath robe..which I am wearing right now, I left with more assurance of God’s guidance. I left work early today because of an attack and now I’m sitting here doing a Bentonite clay mask on my hands and feet/ankles. I have plastic bags over my hands and water on the stove with some essential oils on it, instrumental music playing and the Christmas lights on. I am going to eat minimal food for the next who-knows-how-long, just so I can hope at some healing.
Carrots, freshly juiced with some “Go-Green” powder will be my breakfast. I will have a banana for a snack, carrots and homemade yogurt with flaxseeds in it will be my lunch(with some “Go-Green” in it) and rice with carrots will be my dinner.
I will live off of bananas, carrots, rice, and yogurt for a while.
I’m going to try to blog every-other-day to keep myself accountable. I realize that crap about lack of nutrition but ya know what, eczema is worse–believe me. I want answers, and elimination diets haven’t worked, so we’ll just go down completely and add in something after I start to heal.

Here is the ugly side to this story:

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

Feb 2013

May 2013

May 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

November 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

December 2013

 

Eczema is Curable.

I hate when I read stuff or hear doctors tell me “Eczema or Atopic Dermatitis is chronic and you’ll have it the rest of your life”. I believed this at one point…and ya know what?! There is NO hope in that—this leads to depression. You CAN be healed of eczema.

I’ve linked it to a food allergy. Eczema is always an allergy or hypersensitivity to something (whether it be air, contact, or ingesting)
Thanksgiving day I broke out so horribly bad and only got three hours of sleep and still had to go to work that morning… I now know, from that breakout, that it isn’t something I’m touching or inhaling, it is DEFINITELY something I’m eating. Right now, I’m beginning the first of my three days off, and I’m going to keep a CLOSE watch on what I eat. It almost makes me want to not eat anything though… I am coating my hands in my homemade Calendula salve, oils, balms, and trying to breathe in and out and not scratch.

If you have eczema, eliminate foods from your diet. Sometimes, its easier to eat rice and carrots for two weeks and gradually add a food in—but you have to be careful to make sure you’re taking a great multi-vitamin and drinking lots of water.
Today I’m going to eat one thing at a time—an egg. homemade yogurt. an apple. a clementine. a kiwi. etc…

I’ll be spacing them out and eating like this for the next three days.

I got super itchy last night and this morning and I’m linking it with gluten or wheat—so I’m going to stay away from that altogether for the rest of the year and see if that changes things.

For now, its a continuous challenge, but one day—I will have my skin back….
In the words of that guy on “Galaxy Quest”
Never Give up, NEVER surrender!