Praise Him, For It Is Well

I’m in awe, awe of the life I’ve been placed in…I know I’ve made decisions to make it here, but honestly, how is it possible for life to be this awesome? I have always hoped and dreamed for life to be like this, but honestly, never thought it could be THIS good. 

Last night, I was standing in a most beautiful place; between Rizo and Mi Amor, I worshipped our God amidst a student-led, campus-wide hour of praise. Meeting Christ face to face, and standing between my best friends was just overwhelmingly incredible.

I have continued my life of homemadeness. From yogurt and muesli to salsa and pizza, tasting platters and pasties {for those of you who aren’t from Michigan, that’s an Upper Peninsula dish}.

I have continued to stretch myself by making greek food; stuffed grape leaves. I have also pushed my herbal approach, making salves and hanging plants to jar up their dried leaves. I’ve had lavender tea from the dried flowers I picked last month and am now planning on canning applesauce and jams with my mom this weekend. I have somehow found the time to still be married too.
Mi Amor and I took an hour bike ride to explore more of our Grand city. We have played a three-day chess game, amidst homework, worship services, work, dinner, and art. We sat on our back patio in our Adirondack chairs that he made, had raspberries, apples, peaches, grapes, and pears along with blue and Monterey/Colby cheese, my organic carob no-bakes and some crackers. Of course we paired it up with some wine and art! {since the new opening of an artist decided to be at the gallery’s OTHER location, not biking distance from our home}

I love pontificating with my husband…I also love being introduced to people as his WIFE! heehee.

As I discover more about the healing power of prayer, my skin surprises me with its reactions; I haven’t gotten as many intense flare ups like before, when I wasn’t using my Calendula salve and coconut oil. Diving into the earth that we have a right to grasp and till really changes everything. The steroidal cream helped clear up the problem before the wedding, but I’m proudly staying away from it, as I now know the internal damage it can cause in masking and eating away the problem.
I want a way for my skin to heal and for me to not have to deal with the scars; I want a cure.

{If you do not believe in the healing power of the Lord, I am a testimony, and will soon be even MORE of one, that He still truly does work in miraculous ways}

My husband has been the biggest bridge for beauty.
Since I have married him, I have never loved my body more, he is a constant friend and lover, a servant and prayer warrior. He continues to bear my burden and help heal my scars.
God speaks through him more than he will ever know.

When Rizo was over, she said, “I see you as a whole, you’re skin is not who you are, you’re so much more than that.”

She has been God’s voice to me so many times.

One of the most powerful days of healing for me was the day after Mi Amor and I arrived back from our honeymoon. It was a Sunday, and we went to church {I thank my Lord for blessing me with a husband who loves Him and wants to worship Him}. The message was about Defeating Discouragement and believe me, I thought in my heart that very first opening line that I was inhibited and the last one this message would impact; having been just married, life was incredible and I was joyous. But, God used this sermon to not impact me of being discouraged by losing parents, not hearing His voice, or by being jobless…all of these were not relevant to me…but instead, I was overwhelmed by my skin; discouraged because of my appearance…knowing that Mi Amor deserved some smooth angel who would be able to give him the perfect hand to hold. I knew in my heart that he loved me and chose me despite my imperfections, but I was restless in my scars.

Over the cold early months of January through March, I obtained more pain and more scars than ever before in my life. Emotional scars and lies became my daily thoughts. Tears and scratching became my ritual after showers and before bed. I was so restless for the signs of Spring. Flowers and sunshine would heal me, or so I thought…
March neared its end and I became the most lucky bride-to-be.

Warm weather found its way to Poppins and I was SURE that if I stayed out in the sun long enough my atopic dermatitis would leave me in peace…instead, I was left in even more pieces than before…
I was stressed that I wouldn’t be beautiful on our wedding day the beginning of August.
God started to tell me, through our friends in Indiana, to pray not for me to “deal with it and accept this life” but to ask our gracious and compassionate Lord, “take this away and let me be a testimony of your healing power”
I hadn’t thought about asking for cure, I just thought I needed His power to give me an accepting heart that would arrive at peace because my eyes were on Him and not on my skin.
So, I began praying every day for healing…Mi Amor did as well.

The tragic circumstance of my heart as I woke up every morning and had to see my skin as the scar that I felt inside.
God, in all His compassion, used that day after our honeymoon to change my perspective.
Discouraged…I was in a dark pit, but His love was deeper still, the message told me to keep pushing, to listen for that whisper Elijah heard. Don’t always expect an earthquake or fire, but seek out the beautiful still moments where Christ wants to meet you. Humbly, I saw His power, realizing that it didn’t matter what happened, but that I was a Princess of Joy {thanks daddy}. Joy is deeper than happiness…it’s not circumstantial and that is precisely why I was still able to shine His light the entire nine months of struggling.

We sang songs and while we were seating for the offering, the worship team led the song “It Is Well”. Now, to understand how big of a deal this was, I will tell you that my form of worship has never been one to raise my hands higher than my shoulders…I’m usually the open-handed at my sides or gentle elbows bent. God spoke and just OVERWHELMED me with His love and I felt like I needed…just absolutely NEEDED to worship Him and show Him how much He means to me, because I’ve been blessed beyond words.
I felt so heavy, and so moved to stand up…so I placed my hand on the chair in front of me, and PUSHED myself up…I felt like a million pounds…I wept. I felt Mi Amor’s gentle hand on my back as he stood up with me…I sang and worshipped in awe.
We had communion after and as we walked up to the usher he gently asked, “Are you married?” and I smiled through my moist face covered in tears, “Yes, one week” He gently pulled Cameron next to me and said, “This is a holy union and as you are now one, you should take this together” And so, we took His body and His blood together for the first time as one flesh.

God has this way of putting a seal on His promises; the frosting on the cake; the cherry on the sundae; the last page of a book; the sunset to the day…

Despite what happens to me, It Is Well.
For who knows what will come of me, except for the One that can use such a time as this.

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