Everyone Deserves to Feel Beautiful.

Cozy and uncomfortable.
Delighting and despising.
Frustrated and patient.

I twist, I turn, I scratch.
scratch.
scratch.

My skin, has been horrible. I have had many moments of just rubbing my wrist raw out of itching anger. My oils give some relief, but have not changed or fixed my red annoyance.
I have had restless nights and early hard working days. {by the way–horrible combination for attitude}

I’ve come to realize though, that Mi Amor has honestly not a care in the world how rough and ugly my hands can be, it only motivates him to show me how truly loved I am.
My parents shower me with help & love any way they can.
Sonrisa & Rizo ask and compassionately suggest reasons it could be caused by.
My co-workers, at various times, have bought me specialty lotion, encouraged me, and are compassionate about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had a few encounters where I’ve felt insulted & detested.

Many women have sensitivities toward their bodies & are worried about it all time, for me, the bane of my existence is my skin.
I’m overly conscious about it all the time.
It bothers me when it’s not as smooth as ‘normal people’.
I have SO many problems with it that many times I have cried over it.

My hands, in particular, have taken some happiness away from me.
This torturous irritation has altered my attitude & has kept me from furthering my knowledge and skills at work. I can’t get IV trained until this clears up.

I was doing it naturally to see if I was allergic to foods, or if topical solutions have been changed in my every day usage. I’ve looked into environmental & have found no solution.
I didn’t want to suppress the problem, I wanted to figure out what it was caused from.
But, FINALLY, I went to the doctor today {And sadly enough, my normal doctor isn’t in the office on Fridays} and my alternative helped me remember how much I HATE, even DESPISE going to see doctors. Unless you need an annual check-up or are old, I see them as a luxury that is useless to my life.
Thank you for letting me know that:
1. “You have very dry skin and this looks like severe eczema, but I honestly can’t tell you for sure. I don’t know.” {{already knew that}}
2. “You need to start putting a hydrocortisone or triamcinolone cream on it, because people working with you will not want to touch anything you have” {{that’s nice-where’s my normal doctor who actually CARED ABOUT MY LIFE}}
3. Making me feel worse than when I came in and for being completely estranged in your welcome.

{{{OH MY GOSH REALLY!?!?!}}}

Yeah…seriously, that was my morning.

I think I’ve rambled enough, but all-in-all I am learning various character traits along the way—i.e.
Patience
Love
Forgiveness
Self-Control

_these are no easy tasks_

Sunshine, come forth and sooth my soul

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2 thoughts on “Everyone Deserves to Feel Beautiful.

  1. Oh girl, I had eczema growing up and it’s miserable! I had a medicated cream that had to be prescribed for me (I don’t remember the name of it), and it felt lovely once I applied it regularly..

    But, don’t worry, if indeed that is the issue, you will be feeling much better soon!.. If it is not, and regardless, you need to know that you are beautiful not because of the skin you do or don’t have, and not because of your body (which is faabulous) or the amazing eyes and smile and laughter you bring with you everywhere, but because you are Sarah… because you are BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. And since God says that’s enough.. you should believe it 😉

    Love you.. every bit of everything that you are!
    ~K

    Like

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