Childhood Pushing For Winter

Pumpkin, Apple, Chai, & Carmel slowly fade as Winter pushes Fall into the past. 

Pine, Cinnamon, Hot chocolate & cookies take center stage as November rolls in. 

Coffee shops, like the one I’m in, always make me feel so much more inspired.

Our new living room arrangement does look magnificent, if I do say so myself.

Rizo & I stayed up late last night, after I got back from work, dreaming of help exchanging.

She’s got this great plan for France.

I honestly, envy her. She has so much freedom. She’s able to just go & leave everything, being fully present while adventuring to other countries.

I have lived in Grand Rapids the same amount of time as I lived in Panama.
I can’t imagine doing that again for that long at this point in my life.

Being fully present…

Jim Elliot said “Wherever you are, be all there”

My heart is so much entwined with Mi Amor’s, that I can’t imagine being three thousand miles away, rather than 2 and 1/2 hours.

Rizo told me at one point, she’d just go and perpetually travel, help exchanging everywhere. And ya know what, its TOTALLY possible for her. 

I can’t express enough how much I envy that. 

Its not possible for me to be fully in Europe for three months. My heart would long for home. Oh, how funny our hearts are. 

I talked with a British pharmacy intern two days ago, I asked him about England and Bath-where he’s from. He made me want to just up and leave.
& last night with Rizo, she said, “You should come with me to France!” And I was all for it…but having my ‘big girl pants on’, I’d lose my job if I did that. 

growing up is hard to do

Fall had to leave itself behind for Winter to push its way forward though…just like I must continue to push my childhood back, continuously making room and striving for changes of adulthood.

~~~And I also feel like most of my blog posts are ALL-OVER-THE-PLACE…nothing really connects them~~~
So feel free to ignore my rantings

Paints & Perfect Walking Weather

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The weather has been the most perfect temperature for my two days off this week.

I cannot express how wonderful I’ve been. I had a date last thursday, after working a back-to-back. Mi Amor’s grandpa took me out. I got my fancy on and we went out to an art benefit for the mental health association. I haven’t had that much fun in a while. Its funny how we can have different levels of “fun”. Sometimes quietness and relaxation is fun, other times laughing and going out. Anywho, within the various forms and hours of the day, I got to catch up with a friend who came up from south of Chicago. After a VERY short hour and a half, coffee, and pumpkin bread, I headed off for home. At this point, it was 11:30p.m. and I had gotten to bed at midnight the night before after work, and got back up again that day at 5:45 for work. SO, you figure I’d be tired right!? Wrong. I was living off adrenaline. I was SO ready to be home and embrace Mi Amor.

My weekend was filled with many memories, including dinners, games, movies, soccer tourney, baking, & pumpkin carving.

Oh and by the pictures in the slide show above, you can see a bit of a glimpse of my new hair, and some of Mi Amor’s & my artistry flying about.

Yesterday, after a very random, get-ready-in-five-minutes after making pancakes, went to chapel at Cornerstone University with Rizo.
I walked back, and knowing that it was going to be in the 70s, was definitely glad I did.

I talked to my sister-in-law for four hours while painting. {also shown in slide show}
Hearing her voice is so refreshing, my talks with her always fill up my ‘joy tank’.

Had me some “Sonrisa” time last night; Zumba, facemask, soaked our feet, & watched a movie.

I woke up this morning, headed off to my Doctor’s appointment, {I had to choose a primary care physician for my new insurance} and after being told I was doing everything right and was in beautiful shape. I drove back home, found out that I can get time off for flying to Minnesota {home} in January. Picked up an extra shift this coming Sunday. AND walked to my dentist appointment.
After being told my teeth were perfect, no cavities ever, to keep up what I’m doing, I was then told that in the next year I need to get all four wisdom teeth out. BEcAUSeeeeeeeeeee: my mouth isn’t big.
every woman wants to hear that

haha!

I adore both my dentist and doctor-both very personable and sweet.

My doctor was a Missionary Kid who grew up in Haiti. {therefore speaking French & Creole}

I walked to AutoZone to get my 5W-30 Full Synthetic to top off the oil in my car-cause it was running low.
Walked to the Dollerstore, MusterdSeed Resale shop {goes to Sarah’s House in Uganda for HIV kids}, checked out a little Indian spice shop, and then to save-a-lot to get ingredients for my brother’s bday present and Mexican night at Poppins with Sonrisa & her man!!!

WHEW.

I am livin’ it up!

A Time Of Chai & Smiles

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” —C.S. Lewis

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Relaying all that happened in the last two days isn’t possible now. My day with Rizo was incredible. Spontaneity & adventure twisted together with friendship & laughter on Friday. 

God blessed us with an ENTIRE day of each other…which hadn’t happened since August.

Aimless Autumn Walk

 

Tossing leaves in the street

 

contrast between autumn & summer, divided by a street

 

after dancing through the leaves

 

Walking back to Poppins with the setting sun

 

Life was terrible today

HA! I think not. 

I had a marvelous day today…and amidst my wandering feet on my evening autumn walk, I hadn’t known where I was going. I just wanted to embrace more outdoors after making stuffed green peppers for dinner. 

I was dancing and laughing like a ten-year old girl in this quaint neighborhood nearby, when I turned a curve, where my feet walked right up the sidewalk to a church, where I was greeted and before I knew it, singing…

I honestly, cannot explain the reason I went in. 

The message was on the balance of God’s justice and mercy. I think maybe I needed to be reminded of how much I don’t deserve love.
Thank goodness life’s not fair.
I received a bit of a mind wandering moment, thinking of how wrong my actions are, all the time. Every day my focus slides.

I was hit with how much my desires are put before God.

I should be loving God
then
loving people

grr. I despise my emotions sometimes. 

I’m not keeping Him first, and ya know what, sometimes it feels good.
Gah-I hate that it feels good at first.

Being selfish is so easy…

I’m so screwed up.

I am faced, once again, with my tattoo.
What anchors do I need to rid myself of? 
What’s holding me back from loving God? 

Autumn always helps me re-align myself…
Thank you, Big Guy, for moving my feet.