Sandbags and Molasses

My life is, once again, changing.
It’s inevitable, I realize this…don’t worry.
I love change, for the most part, but this is a stuck-in-the-mud change.
I really do love my job, but I find that the saying
“Can’t live with it, can’t live without it”
is perfectly fitting for this part of my life.
It’s such a sandbag to my hot air balloon!!  

I sit here, with my dog, beautifully lit pine tree, and instrumental music.
I long for more.

If I’m always restless, then there’s something out there for me.
What am I missing? Do I just have to endure this molasses  puddle? I feel so stuck. I want to be free; more than anything I want to be free. 

My heart burns with a passion to be free; to cut all the sand bags from my hot air balloon and eat my way through the sticky molasses.
I’ve been on such adventures that I just want more,
God placed this burning fire within me…
I’m trying to figure out why. 

What do you want from me!?

I just don’t hear anything.
I don’t want to be so wrapped up in searching that I miss His whisper…but I am trying to not be a couch potato…ha, like that’s even possible, when do I have time to waste entire days sitting down?
I’m not meant to sit down. I’m meant to float across the skies and be a witness and partaker in God’s great creations and miracles. 

So, am I where He wants me to be right now?
Somehow, I feel as though the answer is ‘no’…
I feel as though this is super temporary and that this is just a bridge to get to where He wants me. But, then I suppose that bridge would be a ‘yes’ wouldn’t it? How easily my mind goes in circles till’ I get sick.

I know I don’t have to understand this. I know that God will come through–He’s planning right now.
I have so many options and paths that are possibilities to get onto right now, it just overwhelms me. 

Mi amor told me something I really needed  to hear…
“You need to find something to do with your life that isn’t work”

I obviously do a whole lot, but, now I’m not playing guitar much, I’m not involved in the college group worship band, the play is over, the season’s parties are done with, etc…
SO, I hang out with people and work. :/ meh. doesn’t sounds appetizing. 

So, I’m in a rut, but being awed by God’s works around me and within me.
He’s still and always in control,
so I’m trusting Him with my future.
I just want to make sure that I’m doing what He wants me to do.
So, I’m searching for opportunities to better my life and those around me.

I’m finding ways to do more than just work,
starting with step 1:
going to Grand Rapids for a day to get away from all my sandbags and molasses.

 

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4 thoughts on “Sandbags and Molasses

  1. Praying for you Sarah! Just remember to keep seeking Him, even when things aren’t clear. I will attest to the saying, that seeking Him in that time is one of the largest growing times we can experience. You are so vibrant, and so outgoing, and you make everyone around you see Jesus Christ in ways you may not even know… but maybe right now He does want you to sit and be still before Him, and maybe right now He does want you to rest from all your adventures. A job was provided you, and as you wrote, it may be just the bridge you need to get you ready for your next adventure. You’ll find out in His time, and until then, just keeping trusting. Love you girl! Keep us posted!

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  2. I can relate all too well to this. I feel this way most days of my life. I want to do and be everything, but it feels slow in coming. I want to be a writer, a minister, a sign language interpreter, a marathon runner, a mommy, a good wife, a world traveler, and on and on…. I feel that God wants to do such great things with my life, but when will it begin.. or did it begin already. Anyways, I really enjoy your blog. Enjoy your trip to Grand Rapids! God bless!

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  3. Dear Sarah, I read a book recently that talked about something close to this topic of doing the same routine over and over again. It talked about how ruts are a good thing. While doing the same thing over again and again you don’t have to focus all of your attention on work. This leaves room for you to listen to what God is calling you to do. You are an amazing person and I know that God has an amazing purpose for your life. ~Jeremiah 29:11~

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