Burning Affliction

….Hold me, Lord….

“When I’m losing,
When I’m broken
When I’m sinking like a stone
And it feels like I’m alone
I will worship You

When I’m so scared,
Life is unfair
When I’m tired and lose my way,
When I’m feeling so ashamed
I will worship You

You are the anchor to my soul,
Draw me to You and don’t let go
Only Your love can make me whole
Jesus, I worship You

When I’m dancing,
When I’m hopeful
When I’m feeling mercy’s hand
And I’m living life again
I will worship You

When chains are broken,
When healing is coming
When Your forgiveness floods my heart,
This is my brand new start
I will worship You

You are the anchor to my soul,
Draw me to You and don’t let go
Only Your love can make me whole
Jesus, I worship You

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, our God reigns

I hate feeling down-in-the-dumps.
Everybody knows when I am, cause it’s so opposite of normality.

No matter what, I can’t hide my true self,
even when I feel its best for those around me,
I’m too translucent.
These are Translucent Times;
I’m hurting
and it’s making me want to
run,
from everything,
just leave it all,
and go.

But,
in spite of it all,
I will worship Him.

Imperfection In Perfection

I’ve been thinking…
I went to the Sunday service at the church whom I play lead guitar for, in their college group.
The pastor’s sermon hit me.
hard.
I love it when that happens.
Sometimes, I hate it.

Here are some of his points:

Whether you miss the bus by 2 minutes or 2 hours, you still missed this bus.

We often grade on a curve; “compared to him, I’m a pretty great person”

Everything changed in Genesis 3; from beautiful perfection, to horrific disaster.

We’re worse than flip-flops at a formal affair.

We stand condemned; We’re all on death row.

To appreciate the goodness
of the Good News,
you need to understand
the badness of
the bad news.

If we down-play sin,
we down-play God.

 His points hit me.
I often do this-

think to myself, I’m doing good, I serve in a band, I serve my church, I talk to God like He’s human-formed still, I strive to pursue Him, I tell others about Him, I tithe, I have a compassion child….the list goes on…
Some of these, anybody can do.
Some of them, Christ followers act on.
But all of them, can come from my messed up life.

I am messed up,
I am a worm;
 a wretch;
,Sarah. 

There’s so much wrong with my life,
yet He loves me,
and He holds me as I get back on track.

It sucks.
I love being held by Him, but I let Him down

I hate being human.
I want more out of life,
wait,
I want to GIVE more life.
How can I assist mi dulce Salvador
in His work?
It’s more than giving out tracts
and wearing Jesus t-shirts.

I want to have that “Crazy Love” that He has for me.
I know I can never, EVER, duplicate it,
but I want to pursue perfection.

 I’ve been distracted.
Horribly.

In the pursuit of loving God,
I got distracted with

  • Impatience
  • Desire
  • Job
  • Stress
  • Worry
  • Tears

Why?

It really doesn’t make sense to me,
I’ve tried, but I fail.
I know I do.
But, just like in my job,
if I make a mistake,
I try not to dwell on it,
I try to learn from it and catch it’s entrance next time.

I had time before work this morning, to pray, and talk with mi dulce Salvador.
I pressed the pause button on my unimportant day to bask in His perfection.
My lunch break, I re-read the fifth chapter of “Crazy Love”.

.It rocked.

God’s definition of what matters is pretty straightforward.
He measures our lives by how we love…
‘if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love. I gain nothing.’

So, here I am.
In awe.
I need to act with a crazy love; absurd love; insane love
in the context of how unusual it is, because it’s so fierce.

I will spend my lifetime getting to know this love,
how it works,
and how to daily live it.
I’m willing though.
I’m ready.

 

Little Escape

After a great day in the pharmacy, I came home and went for a bike ride with mi dulce Salvador.
It was sunset, so the lighting was kinda sad for pictures, but perfect for riding.
The air was brilliant.
And the colors of the trees, visually appetizing.
The sky was a comfort.
And the excercise, invigorating. 

Yeah…they turned out NOTHING like the reality of the adventure.

Sweet.Savory.Spiffy Times

A week ago I was in Grand Rapids sportin’ scarves and being captivated by the art presented.
As promised, here are some pictures from my weekend.

.Jumping.

.Freezing.

.Landscaping.

.Elevator-ing.

.Spiraling.

.Ninja-ing.

.Pizza tasting.

Vegan Cupcake Eating
Pb&J (above)

Chocolate Peanut Butter (above)

.Pencil-ing.

.Metro-ing.

.Raven-ing.

.Sunshining.

Telephone Boothin’ It Up!

Sadly, I didn’t have all the pictures that I wanted to upload to this post, so later on if I ever get those photos, I’ll randomly place them in later posts! 

.I hope you enjoyed my little journey to the city I want to live in someday.