I can’t seem to keep a steady schedule for hardly anything these days.
I feel like a spasm happens and I just ‘jerk’ into something else.
Soon, I’m done with work, and then I can focus on school.
I fear my final exam and the PTCB exam (state boards test)
*sigh* just another thing that I’m freakin’ out about.
It’s not like I am taking 16 credits and working 40 hours a week. I don’t know why I feel so zonked all the time…
My body is just dumb. I feel worn out in my mind because all I seem to do is read, whether it be my Pharmacy Tech book, theological book, facebook, blogs, etc..
My eyes are just worn.
Today, the sun was able to rejuvenate me while I laid in the field, playing acoustic guitar.
It’s been so long since I’ve been able to go out there…I miss it.
I love freedom and flow.
There isn’t too much that I let tie me down for long, like jobs and school and..ha…blogging.
I can’t keep a steady schedule for too long, cause I feel trapped.
Unless it’s something that I absolutely love, I will go through restless cycles.
Let’s just say I could write a bit of a scenario of change.
I’d live in a suburb (or outskirt) of a place that had a lot of events.
I’d want to be able to play guitar and lay out in the sun without neighbors peering at me.
I’d want the freedom of the field, but the convenience of the city.
If I wasn’t married yet, I’d want to be able to support myself and at least one Compassion child, while helping orphanages all over.
…I might get these things one day…who knows…
When I’m with certain people, hanging out, playing guitar, talking, walking, or even relaxing on a couch, those people energize me. I feel refreshed with them and they give me energy for the next day.
My friends help freedom and flow; they give me diversity.
Times to laugh,
Times to cry,
Times to dance,
and Times to sing…
Being Sarah feels good now, I like who I’m growing to be, and let me tell ya-I’ve got LOTS of growing to do, especially spiritually, but in maturity as well, of course.
I hope I find my balance between Freedom and Flow, && Scheduled and Responsible soon, cause I’m driving myself insane…