Ineffable Emotions

I feel as though time has flown by incredibly fast, but just as well, has been slow. I cannot hardly believe that I have been here for seventy days, but I’m used to my ‘routine’ and it’s so familiar. This year has introduced more changes than any other.

My surroundings will change a lot, starting with the weather (just as it did when I came to Panama). Nowadays I get cold when it’s seventy degrees out!
Depressing side of things:

No more Panamanian hugs for a year. I have always loved the little kids hugs, they energize me and make me feel special. I guess I never talked about the Panamanian’s greeting and goodbye. We greet with a kiss on the cheek and end our time just the same. I really like this, because in the Bible it states ‘greet each other with a holy kiss’, and hardly anybody does this anymore in the states. When everybody greets me this way I feel the love of friends, and that of Panama.

I will miss Sanna, Nair, Oscar, Josh, and Joel a lot because we had our hang out group; going to the movies, to eat, to each other’s houses, making food, STOMP concert, etc…Our times were extremely memorable because of the fun personalities that filled the air.
Not so depressing side of things:

There is so much that I will miss when I leave, but hardly any of it has to do with Panama. It’s the people I will miss. The ones who show me love and accept me for who I am, those who have affected my life and changed it permanently.

I could not name all the people who I love, because there are so many. But categorized, these people include, my Panamanian family, the students of second grade C, some of the teachers, church friends, those who I shared sweat and blood with in construction, two specific wonderful girls from 7th and 9th grade..the list goes on.

These people have affected my life which will change how I am back in the states, and it’s a good thing.
I have learned so much because of stepping back and purely observing the actions of those around me.

..depressing thing:

fifteen days left…

I miss home incredibly, so much about it I cannot wait to return to, but a piece of my heart will be left in Panama no doubt.

When one leaves the country, they are sure a change.
When on leaves the country on account of God’s call, they are sure  a transformation.

It’s hard to describe all my emotions on this subject, but just giving you a glimpse of it: I will never be the same.

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2 thoughts on “Ineffable Emotions

  1. I can’t imagine what it has been like for you! I’m so glad you have been changed by this experience, but your right, there is no way it can’t change you! I’m praying for your last few days there! We can’t wait to have you back home, but we know you will definitely miss those that you leave there!

    ~Micah

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