Silly Spiraling

Oh, ridiculous me. A bit ago, God pulled an “Abraham” on me; He told me to do destroy something that He put  together (I know He put it together, because He told me)
Genesis 22:2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.”

GOD ASKED ABRAHAM TO SACRIFICE HIS ONLY SON, WHOM GOD GAVE TO SARAH AND ABRAHAM…ha…wow…that’s some definite trust testing there!

Genesis 22:3 Early the next morning Abraham got up…

Dear Lord, I was definitely NOT as quick at listening as Abraham was. It took me a long time to realize what God was doing and to free-fall into His arms and just trust Him unconditionally. I obviously have issues trusting God.
I cannot believe how I go through this spiral…I always come back to the point where I’m wanting to be in control–I’m choleric, it happens. I just don’t want it to happen with the Musician of my music-noted life. Sometimes I go out of key. I put in flats. In the position I was in, I wanted to be ULTIMATELY sure that it was God’s voice, not my head.

Genesis 22:10-12 Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the Lord called out to him from Heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “here I am,” he replied. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

How quickly Abraham knew it was not his own head…It took DAYS of the thought to be repeated and for ironic random people to say something to me that totally related to this problem I didn’t tell them about. It was until THEN that I realized it was God talking. He was speaking to me! AH YES!
OH wait…I have to do this, Lord??? Oh, God, You know all I want is to follow your directing, You are all that means anything in this world.
Then, believe that Sarah.
So, when I was about to deal with the problem..and basically create pain in my soul from doing so…God stopped me.
He pulled His Abraham story to my face.
Oh man, *wipes sweat off forehead* thanks God…ha, You know I was really worried…please let me be more like Abraham next time, and just DO IT.

This is a really long post. ha sorry.

But honestly, I REALLY want to get a permanent reminder that can be in my face EVERYDAY so that I remember what it was like to feel the pain and the hard willingness, etc…because I NEVER want that again; I want to trust my Lover unconditionally.
My way of doing that.
A tattoo.
When I’m old enough… 🙂
I will explain what it will look like eventually, but for now, it’s just in my thoughts and on doodled paper.

I pray that this post will speak to you, trust God, it’s SO MUCH EASIER THAN FIGHTING HIM!

2 thoughts on “Silly Spiraling

  1. Haha.. I love this post.. It’s seriously among my favorites…

    and I have two tattoos that are serving the same purpose for me. I suggest you wait at least a year before you get it, and then you will never regret it.

    Following Jesus is NEVER easy, but it is always good… I remind myself of this about every 2 seconds….. 😉 Love you!


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