Picnics and Peace

Something inside me is bothered. I want to hear God’s voice and I am depressed that I can’t.
I had a picnic with my Lord today. I was outside eating His word and listening for Him for an hour and a half.
I tried to understand what He was telling me, but I couldn’t decipher it.
I read 1 Kings 19:12 where it’s talking about the still small voice–a.k.a
a whisper.
I tried to listen for His whisper.
I’m confused.

I wonder if I’m doing what God wants me to.
I am curious to know whether God will suddenly tell me to stop and turn down a different road.

I’m horrified that I might not be strong enough to run with Him, while dropping everything to chase Him.

As an amazing man in my life said, “I know that feeling of being kinda scared at what life is throwing at you, not that its bad, but that its coming right for you so fast.”

That’s how I feel.

Like I am so ready for this adventure, but that I’m scared to go on it at the SAME TIME.

And maybe I’m repetitive, but this is how God made me, I have to think and talk for hours about big things like this…otherwise I’ll never learn.

I haven’t found the peace I strive for yet, but I have faith that it will eventually come….


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